Future Bachelor

Episode 174 | "The First Half"

Si & Veronica are feeling ~foine~ for episode 174! DaBaby is getting dropped from festivals left and right in the aftermath of his homophobic and generally disgusting rant. ScarJo is going up against the Mouse for a breach in her contract relating to when “Black Widow” was slated to be released on Disney+. Chrishell is mixing work and pleasure by dating THE Jason Oppenheim. Saweetie has a McD’s meal hitting the menu this week that is perfect for pulling into the drive thru with your bestie in a tessie. Beanie Feldstein will star in the newest addition to the “American Crime Story” series on the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton scandal. Vee went “Yikes!” to ANOTHER grown man just NOW finding out that maybe he shouldn’t say the f-slur. This time it was Matt Damon and he had to have his daughter tell him why it isn’t “a joke.” It’s another bubble season of mediocre “hometown” dates. Blake’s was almost an exact copy of Serena P.’s Canada date. Justin didn’t even reference “Hairspray” at all for his Baltimore date. Greg showed his best side and then his absolute worst, gaslighter side. Men will really go on the Bachelorette instead of going to therapy. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "En Mi Cuarto" by Jhay Cortez, Skrillex

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Episode 173 | "Emotional Whiplash"

Si & Veronica are braving the Atlanta summer storms for episode 173! Kanye got his own day in Atlanta and has now set up shop in the Mercedes-Benz Stadium to finish his album. He did break Apple Music’s streaming record with 3.3 million people watching the Donda listening experience from home. Bennifer are IG official but many conspiracy theorists are sniffing out similarities between recent pics and stills from the “Jenny from the Block” music video. The Summer of secret weddings continues with Issa Rae getting married in the south of France this past week. Tommy Dorfman publicly came out as a transwoman after admitting that she had been living privately that way for the past year. Vee went “Yikes!” to DaBaby’s homophobic and stigmatizing comments that he tried to disguise as “audience participation” at last weekend’s Rolling Loud festival in Miami. This week on the Bachelorette really played with our hearts with Michael A. self-eliminating to go be a good dad to his son James. As us viewers were still licking our wounds, we hop right into the Men Tell All. Not long into that there was some face licking that happened for Catsuit Connor and a very special paid audience plant! Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Industry Baby” by Lil Nas X ft. Jack Harlow

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Episode 172 | "Nexus Event"

Si & Veronica are on the road again (well Si is) for episode 172! Halsey welcomed their new baby with boyfriend Alev this past week! Kanye is making his comeback with a new album named after his mom and a listening party in his birthplace, and the pod’s hometown, Atlanta. He also produced Lil Nas X’s new single, “Industry Baby,” that drops this week. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue revealed Hot Girl Meg, Leyna Bloom, and Naomi Osaka as the cover stars. All roads lead back to Lebron as it looks like Adele is dating his agent, Rich Paul. Lesbians will be getting their own reality show this fall with “Tampa Baes” dropping on Amazon Prime. Vee went “Yikes!” to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his phallic spaceship. The real “Yikes” was him thanking employees and customers for funding his 10 minute space trip when that money could easily help solve hunger or vaccine rollout! Katie brought Seattle to the Hyatt this week for Greg’s mediocre one on one date. The dates only got more awkward with suggestive floral paintings and uneasy cuddling. With hometowns on the line, she really didn’t hold back with sending people home… except with Andrew who came back from his elimination just to dump her back. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Essence” by WizKid ft. Tems

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Episode 171 | "Hand Check"

Si & Veronica are xoxo gossip girling for episode 171! ScarJo and CoJo (Colin Jost for those not ~hip~ to the slang) are expecting their first child together. Juvenile is asking people to back their azz up into a parking spot to get a vaccination with his very 2021 remix. Drake is pulling out all his Lover Boy moves with taking Johanna Leia to the Dodgers game as his album hits the mixing phase. Halsey released the cover art and trailer for her new album that will be taking us back to the renaissance. For a second week in a row Wendy Williams has been messing up and this time it was enough to make Vee go “Yikes!” Chris Harrison might be joining “The View” now that he is without a hosting gig. His former employer, the Bachelorette, had a wild week of recycled dates and the men not knowing how to properly spill tea. Catsuit Connor had a very teary goodbye, while Blake fully lost out on the WOWO Challenge after consoling Katie. Four men went home… and then straight to the shores of Paradise. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Stay” by The Kid LAROI, Justin Bieber

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Episode 170 | "Resting Sad Face"

Si & Veronica are resting our hopefully not sad faces after a long holiday weekend for episode 170! Love is in the air with Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton officially tying the knot and Tom Holland and Zendaya getting caught in their own kissy web. Tabitha Brown gave Wendy Williams a taste of her own shady medicine, but in the most wholesome way. The Olympics are getting folks mad with banning swim caps made for Black natural hairstyles. If that wasn’t bad enough, track star Sha’Carri Richardson is disqualified from her marquee race because of testing positive for cannabis. Vee went “Yikes!” to the overturning of Bill Cosby’s sexual assault conviction. Julianne Hough may be in the running for the next Bachelorette to shake up the franchise. But back to our current Bachelorette and her men that were willing to bash their heads in for her this week! Is Greg the ultimate sad boi or is it all an act? Hunter has slowly become the new villain and the other dudes are just waiting to vote him off. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “PradadaBang” by IDK, Young Thug

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Episode 169 | "The Birds & The BDSM"

Si & Veronica are joined by former guest and forever comPODre, Caleb Hallman, for this very ~nice~ episode 169! He tells us all about his NSFW job and what moving to NYC during the height of the pandemic was like. In pop culture news, The BET Awards were this past weekend and a lot of homages were paid to former performers and Black Excellence in general. Cardi B announced her pregnancy with her performance during the show. Britney Spears finally spoke out on the status of her conservatorship and people are screaming #FreeBritney even louder now after she detailed years worth of trauma. Could you ever imagine turning down Rihanna and ASAP Rocky from a bar? That is exactly what one bouncer did claiming he didn’t know who Rihanna was. THE AUDACITY. As if that wasn’t “yikesy” enough, Vee went “Yikes!” to an old video of 13-year-old Billie Eilish mouthing a racial slur. This week’s Truth or Dare group date brought up some random sweet nothings truths and predictable hot pepper dares. Tayshia tossed Katie her sloppy seconds (and technically Clare’s too… does that make him sloppy thirds??) in the form of Blake. Katie mic dropped so hard with her pump fake elimination of Thomas at the rose ceremony. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Bad Habits” by Ed Sheeran

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Episode 168 | "Why Are You Like This?"

Si & Veronica are back with their normal backgrounds for episode 168! Victoria’s Secret is trying to rebrand by announcing new diverse ambassadors in place of their Angels. Carl Nassib has come out, which makes him the first openly gay active NFL player. Taylor Swift’s next re-release is “Red,” so Jake Gyllenhaal better take cover! In unsurprising news, Tristan Thompson is a slimy basketball player once again and Khloe is “done” with him. But who we are really trying to ~keep up~ with is Nick Cannon’s complicated web of babies/baby mamas. Juneteenth was made a federal/national holiday, but Vee went semi “Yikes!” to how that doesn’t change the oppressive voting and education laws in plenty of states. Vee went “Yikes!” and then had her heart warmed by an HBO Max intern sending out a test email to subscribers, that then turned into a Twitter trend of folks confessing their big work mistakes to make the intern feel better. Karl has left the Hyatt, but is Thomas taking over his role as villain? It feels like the men of this season think they are on “Survivor” and that they can just vote people off. Also, this episode included a group date where Nick Viall was purely there to collect a check. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “THOT SHIT” by MEGAN THEE STALLION

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Episode 167 | "We'll Move On"

Si & Veronica are recording coast to coast for episode 167! In the wake of the final episode of KUWTK with Kim crying about her crumbling marriage, Kanye has been seen out and about with Irina Shayk. Some of our fave music boys are giving us something to look forward to. Drake is still being vague as hell, but we at least know that we will get “Certified Lover Boy” by the end of summer at the latest. Ed Sheeran will be dropping a single on June 25th called “Bad Habits”. Alex Cooper and Call Her Daddy are getting that Spotify bag with an exclusive podcast deal. Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton may have continued this summer’s hottest trend: Secret Weddings. Vee went “Yikes!” to all the controversy surrounding Chrissy Teigen’s twitter bullying, as well as the slight colorism in “In The Heights”. We had a dramatic second week of Katie’s Bachelorette season. We finally got the tiniest bit more context around the Aaron and Cody fight from episode 1. Should Cody have been sent home or should he have gotten another shot? Karl is now the villain in the house until someone else slips up. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “p r i d e . i s . t h e . d e v i l” by J. Cole, Lil Baby

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Episode 166 | "Pool Boy Summer"

Si & Veronica are doing our laundry for episode 166! The Floyd/Mayweather fight got a lot of money and memes churning this week. Some of our favorite gals are releasing music! Billie Eilish just dropped a soft hot girl summer bop and music video with “Lost Cause”. Megan Thee Stallion is taking on her alter ego Tina Snow and will drop her new single “Thot Shit” this week. Lorde is teasing us with a cheeky website update promoting her new single “Solar Power”, coming sometime this year. Vee went “Yikes!” to how crazy people went over Ellie Kemper’s involvement in a Veiled Prophet Ball (she gave a great apology), and to the Nike leak of the MAMBACITA shoe that not even Vanessa Bryant or her girls have hands on yet. Bachelorette season is back and many of the men look much better in person than in their bio pics! Greg is already America and Katie’s favorite, but this pod duo is not convinced. Kaitlyn and Tayshia are definitely channeling big sister vibes. We can only wonder who will take their place for upcoming seasons as Chris Harrison is officially leaving the Bachelor franchise (with a lot of cash in his pockets). We know for sure that David Spade will be one of the rotating hosts for the BIP season and we are hyped for that! Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Last Train Home” by John Mayer

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Episode 165 | "OH!"

Si & Veronica are sweating for this hot episode 165! We did it again, folks. We predicted that Kelly Clarkson would take the Ellen slot, and we were right. Naomi Osaka is making waves by withdrawing from the French Open for her mental health. Is doing press just an inevitable part of the job of being a pro athlete? And if so, should they be fined if they decline? Jay Cutler is coming for 50% of Kristin Cavallari’s Uncommon James brand. Howard University is revamping their fine arts school and naming it after Chadwick Boseman. If you watched the Gossip Girl reboot trailer you probably heard a familiar voice… Vee giggled and went “Yikes!” to North West calling Kim out on an Instagram video about if she actually listens to Olivia Rodrigo or if she is just “doing it for the ‘gram.” For this week’s Mini Main topic, we dove into what makes people ~hot~ and the dynamics of hotness in friend groups and relationships. Are hot people unapproachable? Is being hot just all physical? Caila from Ben Higgin’s season of the Bachelor just recently tied the knot with her longtime bf. Get ready because Bachelorette season starts next week and we will have that fire content!! Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

 

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Killer (Remix)” by Eminem ft. Jack Harlow & Cordae

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